Being a parent is one of the most challenging yet rewarding roles you can take on in life. You want the best for your child, so you go above and beyond to ensure they’re loved and cared for. If you have a child with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), you’re likely balancing typical parenting responsibilities while also trying to support them as they navigate this complex condition.
While it’s important to be an ally for your child, you can only do this to the best of your abilities if you’re taking care of yourself. By addressing your personal needs and creating time and space to prioritize yourself, you can avoid parental burnout.
Keep reading to get tips on how to practice self-care while parenting a child with OCD.
The most common struggles for parents of children with OCD
Sometimes, parenting a child with OCD can feel like navigating uncharted waters. You may encounter challenges that you never anticipated as you attempt to understand a condition that professionals often misdiagnose.
To make things more challenging, children with OCD often struggle to understand what they’re feeling or why they have the urge to engage in compulsions. They might have difficulties putting their experiences into words, leaving you unsure of what’s typical childhood behavior and what might be related to OCD.
If you can relate to these experiences, you’re not alone. Here are the most common struggles parents of children with OCD face:
Stress and overwhelm
Parents of children with OCD can feel a sense of overwhelm, which often sets in long before their child’s OCD is even diagnosed. You might look back on behaviors that seemed “odd” or “unusual” and realize that they were connected to OCD. But at the time, you may have just felt frustrated and confused about what was happening with your child.
The period during which your child’s OCD symptoms went unrecognized and untreated can lead to feelings of immense guilt. You may constantly worry about your child’s well-being, which can ultimately take a toll on your health and leave you emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted.
Find the right OCD therapist for you
All our therapists are licensed and trained in exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP), the gold standard treatment for OCD.
OCD stigma and misunderstanding
It can be frustrating when others question your parenting skills or dismiss your child’s struggles as mere “quirks” due to their own misunderstandings of OCD or the negative stigma surrounding it. It can put you in a position where you feel like you’re constantly having to defend and explain yourself to others, which can make you feel isolated and even doubtful of your parenting abilities.
But know this: your child’s OCD is not a reflection of how you show up as a parent. The challenges you’re facing are real, and seeking support to get through them is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Feeling out of control
As a parent, you want to teach your child that the world is safe and predictable, even though you know that sometimes it isn’t. Your intentions are good—you want to provide your child with a safe and secure space to grow and develop skills that help them navigate the world, despite its unpredictability. But unfortunately, OCD is not too fond of the unknown.
OCD latches onto uncertainty and can lead children to seek constant reassurance, confess every thought, or search for answers to unsolvable questions. Your desire to comfort or reassure them can sometimes conflict with the need to avoid feeding OCD. If you can’t tell them that everything’s okay without worsening their symptoms, what can you do to support them? It can be frustrating for everyone involved and increase feelings of a loss of control, which, as a parent, can be stressful.
Finding balance
Finding the balance between managing your child’s OCD and everyday family life can be a difficult adjustment. Between homework time, music lessons, sports team practices, and other activities, your schedule might already feel as though it’s bursting at the seams.
Add in therapy sessions, medication management, and addressing OCD behaviors at home, and things can become overwhelming. Meeting the needs of your child with OCD and those of other family members—not to mention your own needs—can be a balancing act that leaves you feeling stretched impossibly thin.
While these challenges may seem daunting, remember that countless parents have walked this path before, and many are walking it alongside you right now. The struggles you face don’t define your child or your family’s story.
3 tips for practicing parental self-care
If things feel difficult right now, know that they don’t have to stay that way. There are steps you can take to maintain your own well-being in the face of OCD. Here are a few:
1. Show yourself self-compassion
Patience, understanding, and self-compassion will go a long way for both you and your child. Try not to internalize feelings of inadequacy or believe that your child’s symptoms are in any way a reflection of your parenting abilities. One way to practice self-compassion is by talking to yourself the same way you’d speak to a loved one.
2. Prioritize self-care
You cannot pour from an empty cup. You will be far more helpful to your child if you’re doing okay emotionally, mentally, and physically. As cliche as it might sound, try to make a habit of practicing self-care and relaxation skills yourself.
Here are some ways you can practice parental self-care:
- Find a hobby: Pick back up an activity you love doing, or try something new.
- Get active: Visit the gym or take a walk around your neighborhood to get your body moving.
- Get a babysitter: Consider hiring someone or accepting a friend’s or family member’s offer to watch your children for a few hours or overnight.
- Spend time with other adults: Go out on a date night with your partner or meet your friends for brunch to get out of the house.
- Practice gratitude: Take time out of your day to appreciate the positive aspects of your life, whether big or small. You can cultivate gratitude by writing in a journal, expressing gratitude to others, or practicing meditation.
- Seek professional help: If you’re struggling to practice parental self-care, consider reaching out to a therapist. They can help you work through your feelings of guilt, shame, stress, and overwhelm, and help you learn how to prioritize yourself.
3. Join support groups
There are support groups for parents of children with OCD. Finding a connection through others who can understand your journey will be a vital part of helping you and your child manage this condition.
With NOCD Membership you’ll get access to several support groups, including Supporting Others With OCD: Education For Family & Loved Ones, our Mom Support Group, and our Parents Support Group.
How to manage parental burnout
When you’re running on empty because of your parenting duties, your health and well-being can suffer. Over time, your family can also be affected. If you’re feeling burned out from taking care of your child’s OCD while handling other responsibilities, you’re not alone.
Here’s what you can do to overcome parental burnout:
1. Become self-aware
Look for the warning signs. Assess how you’re feeling throughout the day. Have you been more irritable than usual? Do small changes to your routine or interruptions in your day frustrate you? Are you being short with your partner or children?
Also, pay attention to your body. Do you often feel tense or anxious? Are you having difficulty sleeping at night? Are you feeling emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted?
These are often signs that you’ve exceeded your limit of stress and might be headed toward burnout.
2. Find support
If you’re experiencing burnout or noticing warning signs, please don’t hesitate to ask for help. If you have a partner, involve them as much as possible. Perhaps another family member or friend is aware of your situation and can offer encouragement or help with tasks that are causing burnout.
An OCD specialist can also provide support to you while helping your child overcome their symptoms. They can provide you with resources and support groups, equipping you to be successful in preventing burnout and compassion fatigue.
3. Practice self-compassion
Having self-compassion is just as important in practicing parental self-care as it is in preventing burnout. Burnout often occurs because parents expect more out of themselves than they can accomplish or would ever expect others to accomplish. Learning to give yourself grace and kindness with your expectations can strengthen you and free you up to provide compassionate care to your child with OCD and other children. Your kids are aware of the energy you give off, so it’s essential to care for yourself and model self-compassion.
4. Evaluate priorities
Take inventory of what’s on your plate. Ask yourself the following questions:
- What is causing unnecessary stress?
- What tasks can be put on hold?
- What can be eliminated from the schedule, maybe even temporarily, so that my life is less overwhelming and demanding?
- Do my children know they are a priority?
- How can I prioritize their needs while keeping up with work and other activities?
It may be helpful to create a list to review with your partner, a close friend, or a therapist. The goal is to manage stress in a way that allows you and your family to grow together and thrive.
Bottom line
Being a parent is a lifelong responsibility that comes with its ups and downs. When you add in caring for a child with OCD, things can become more challenging, but it’s essential to make time to take care of yourself. Prioritizing your own well-being helps you stay healthy and resilient while still providing the support your child needs to manage their OCD. It can be a tough journey to navigate, but know that you’re not alone, and support is always within reach.
Key takeaways
- Parenting a child with OCD can lead to emotional overwhelm, especially if symptoms go unrecognized at first.
- OCD-related stigma and misinformation can increase feelings of isolation and self-doubt in parents.
- Self-care and self-compassion are essential, not optional, for parents supporting a child with OCD.
