Everyone experiences intrusive thoughts. While many people can shrug them off, if you have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), you may feel an overwhelming need to get rid of them.
With OCD however, the issue is not the intrusive thoughts themselves—it’s how you respond to them. OCD demands you engage in compulsions to neutralize unwanted thoughts, but doing so reinforces the cycle, making intrusive thoughts even more distressing over time.
The good news is that there are ways to break the OCD cycle. Keep reading to learn how to respond to unwanted thoughts so you can focus more on what matters to you.
Doing nothing is the best response to unwanted thoughts
Sometimes, the best response is no response. If performing compulsions has been your automatic reaction, this might come as a surprise. Simply not responding to unwanted thoughts is a technique known as non-engagement. When distressing thoughts arise, passively acknowledge them and continue your day.
The more you try not to think about something, the likelier you are to think about it. For example, try not thinking about a bright pink elephant. Did you picture it? It’s human nature to focus on what we try to avoid. Instead of pushing thoughts away, recognizing them without judgment takes their power away.
When you have OCD, you can get “stuck” on these thoughts, questioning their meaning or significance. But unwanted thoughts are just that—thoughts. They don’t hold any real value or meaning. While you can’t control the obsessions that pop into your head, you can control how you respond.
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All our therapists are licensed and trained in exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP), the gold standard treatment for OCD.
3 ways to respond to unwanted thoughts
Use the following strategies to break the cycle of intrusive thoughts and compulsions:
1. Acknowledge and accept the thought
Accepting a thought doesn’t mean you agree with it, it just means you acknowledge it and allow it to be there. You don’t have to react to or assign meaning to it. By resisting the urge to label unwanted thoughts as “good” or “bad,” you can reduce their emotional impact on you.
2. Accept uncertainty
No matter how disturbing, violent, or graphic a thought is, it doesn’t mean it’s true or significant. OCD seeks 100% certainty—something that is impossible to get.
Instead of trying to find a solution, you can respond by saying, “Maybe, maybe not” or “I might never know the answer to that” and sit with the resulting discomfort. Learning how to tolerate uncertainty can help weaken OCD’s grip on you.
3. Live a value-based life
OCD fixates on the things you value, which can make intrusive thoughts even more distressing. What’s important to understand is that intrusive or unwanted thoughts are ego-dystonic, meaning they go against your values, desires, goals, and intentions and keep you from living a life you want to lead.
Rather than resorting to compulsions, refocus on your own beliefs and principles that matter the most to you. Prioritize actions that align with your values—such as being a dedicated parent or a caring partner—instead of reacting to perceived threats or danger.
When to seek help
If unwanted thoughts disrupt your daily life, it’s a good idea to seek the guidance of a mental health professional. While everyone experiences intrusive thoughts, OCD can make them overwhelming and difficult to handle. However, working with a therapist who specializes in OCD can help you regain control.
How to manage unwanted thoughts
If you have OCD, exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy can help you disengage with unwanted thoughts. With the help of an ERP therapist, you’ll face your thoughts head-on while resisting compulsions. Over time, this reduces OCD’s power and helps you break from the cycle.
Key takeaways
- Unwanted thoughts are normal, but OCD makes them distressing.
- Acknowledging intrusive thoughts and resisting compulsions helps weaken OCD over time.
- Exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy teaches you to accept uncertainty and sit with the discomfort from unwanted thoughts.
